Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
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