i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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