you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize