Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
