I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
