You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
