You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Randomize
