I've blown a few things in my day
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize