What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Randomize