i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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