I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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