it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Randomize
