I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Randomize
