i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
