Having a random hookup so left but love u
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
home. puking in laundry basket.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
