Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
