If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
