Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
