physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
