I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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