Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
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