There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
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