Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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