She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
