So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize
