what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
