sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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