Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
