It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
