I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Randomize
