make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
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