Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize