Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize
