There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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