remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
