I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
