Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
