I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
As shirtless as possible
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
