The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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