If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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