Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
