dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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