She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Just cropdusted the office
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Randomize
