I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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