he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
