So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
