My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
so much tequila, so little girl.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
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