8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌ðŸ»ï¸
Randomize
