their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
