Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
How external is "for external use only"?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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