Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
