that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
