I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
