absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize
