You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
