Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Randomize
