it was like eating out sand paper
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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