Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
