Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
We left an ass print on the piano.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
