Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
